“I have seen a Psychologist before for about 6 months. At first it was okay but then I started to dislike the changes he was suggesting. My previous Psychologist left me a phone message saying he felt we were making progress, but I didn’t respond. I have done something similar to other people in my life and just stopped talking to them. I am considering coming to see a Psychologist again but I’m a bit worried that this will happen again”. Kim
Thank you for your question Kim. This is something all Psychologists experience at some point. When someone is looking for a Psychologist there can be lots of different qualities which are important. Some people want a Psychologist who is older or younger or male or female or of a certain ethnicity.
The most important point for you to remember is that it is important to talk through your concerns with your Psychologist. If your Psychologist understands your concerns, then they can generally help you figure out what will be best for your mental health. There can be many reasons it can feel difficult to tell your Psychologist you do not like therapy. Communicating with your Psychologist about what you do not like is a great way to practice communication and assertiveness skills.
Another area to consider is that Psychologists can get it wrong. Your Psychologist may have said something that upset you. Psychologists like all professions can have a day where they are distracted or may not realise you do not understand what they are saying. If you feel unhappy with your Psychologist, it is really important to tell them as it may be an important part of therapy to figure the disagreement out. If the disagreement cannot be sorted out your Psychologist may suggest another Psychologist for you to see. Or they may refer you back to your GP to identify another Psychologist who might be more appropriate.
Avoidance of contact can be a behaviour which interferes with therapy. Sometimes working through difficult relationship patterns in therapy is the most important part of therapy. Avoidance behaviours can be based in a transference reaction. Transference is the idea that at times you may direct feelings or behaviour patterns to your therapist that you have experienced in other relationships. This can occur particularly with the feelings you may have about a parent. Sometimes these feelings may be correct, however at other times it may be that you are repeating a pattern you have experienced previously. If this occurs, working through this pattern in therapy will help you to see other ways of communicating your needs and negotiating relationship dynamics. Please come see our PsychHelp Psychologists if you want to work on these concerns and try out different ways of communicating.
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