A male in my family has openly admitted to hurting his younger brother (physically hurting and emotionally bullying) since childhood. It was hidden for years but now that he’s been caught, he has admitted to doing it because he liked it/enjoyed it. What causes this behaviour? Is this a sign of a psychopath and will this behaviour continue with other vulnerable victims? What should we do with this? Iva
Thank you for your question Iva. This unfortunately is a common situation with studies finding prevalence rates of sibling bullying between 10-40%. Researchers have proposed that sibling bullying is actually the most common form of domestic abuse. Not only is sibling bullying common it has been found to be related to a range of problems later in life. Dr Dieter Wolke has studied sibling bullying extensively. He found that peer and sibling bullying can increase the risk of physical and mental health problems, self-harm, suicide, loneliness, delinquency, problems holding down employment and relationship problems.
In the situation you describe the reasons the older brother may have bullied his younger sibling could be varied, however, research points to a number of factors which make sibling bullying more common. Research has found that aggression is more common in households with more siblings, more brothers and as the situation you describe more often is committed by older and first born siblings.
This fits with the evolutionary perspective for sibling aggression, which proposes that siblings compete for limited parental resources. Sibling aggression occurs in many species and in many types of birds results in siblicide or one sibling killing another. In human history siblings who demonstrated social dominance and fought for limited resources probably had more chance of survival. However, while this strategy may have been needed in the past when there were limited resources it does not work today. Particularly now that we understand the consequences of these experiences. This is definitely an area that needs to be further understood and addressed in terms of reducing family violence.
Sibling bullying can occur without any psychopathy being present. As sibling bullying is common and true psychopathy is uncommon most cases of sibling bullying most probably do not involve psychopathy. However, research has found links between psychopathy and sibling bullying. Regardless of whether psychopathy is present seeking professional psychological support for both the siblings involved may help them to process what happened and find other ways of interacting.
Psychological therapy can focus on supporting the sibling who is bullied, helping the sibling who is bullying to find more socially appropriate ways to get their needs met, and helping their parents change the family dynamics so bullying is less likely.
A couple of final points. The most important first step is to ensure current safety. I have worked with adults who were at risk of physical, sexual and emotional abuse from their siblings. The second point is that these types of situations need to be talked about within families and not kept as secrets to protect any parties. It’s important that this type of situation is discussed openly by all the people involved and that everyone takes responsibility for the part they played including the parents and other adults who were responsible for childcare.
