I work in a retail store that is considered essential for some products and focuses heavily on customer service. The state went into lockdown a week ago, but people continue to come in and buy very clearly unessential things or even just to look around because they’re bored. This is stressing out my co-workers alongside me even further than the crisis has already. Do you have any suggestions for some polite things to say to make casual customers think about staying home without it seeming like I’m telling them to get out? Skyler
Thank you, Skyler, for your question. I think there are many essential workers questioning why people are behaving in different ways due to the COVID-19 situation. During this time people are under a lot of stress and stress has a way of affecting the way our brain works. Once we understand the effect of stress on the brain it can help us to understand and respond to people’s behaviour more effectively.
One of the main things that stress does is affect people’s ability to be rational. That means they are less able to use reason and logic to solve a problem and often use emotions or opinions to make decisions. Dr Bruce Perry provides a wonderful overview of how the brain reacts to stress. He has done a video on how the stress, distress and trauma of COVID-19 can affect brain functioning:
Be gentle to yourself and others. The customers you are encountering are probably people who are really struggling in some way. Dr Perry discusses three important concepts in terms of dealing with people under stress: regulate, relate, and reason. I think you can use these when dealing with your customers.
First you need to regulate your own emotions. This is really important that you are in a calm place when you bring up these issues with customers as they may have strong opinions and big emotions regarding isolation, the government interventions, or the economic consequences of this. They may not be able to regulate their emotions when you talk to them so it’s important you are calm when you talk to them and you are able to stay calm even if they become angry or sad.
Second you need to relate which involves having empathy for their situation even if their ideas are different to yours. You need to be able to see their humanness even if from your perspective they are acting or saying things that are less than rational.
Finally, you need to be able to use reason. This involves explaining you are following government or organisation advice and that many of these decisions are out of your hands. Also, it can help to get them to access their own empathy for others by explaining that by not going shopping for non-essentials they are protecting not only themselves but others.
Be gentle with yourself first and foremost then also try to be gentle with others while realising their brain due to stress may not be functioning as it normally would.
I have also written a blog with some more context regarding COVID-19 and your mental health.
