Is it possible to suppress or block out an entire sexual relationship so that you have no memory of it at all? I have been married 10 years and have struggled with my sexuality in a big way. I have always believed I was a virgin when I got married but my sexual issues have been very extreme. There is a period of months when I was first dating my husband where I saw an ex on the side as “friends”, but I cannot remember much of it. My husband is convinced I had a sexual affair with him, giving him my virginity. I do not have any memory of sex with anyone else. Is it possible I have blocked out all memory to avoid guilt? Anne
Thank you for your question Anne. The question of repressed memories is something that has been debated in psychology for decades. The research has largely discredited the idea that people can totally block out memories of a traumatic event only for the memories to be recovered later through therapy. This research is outlined in The Myth of Repressed Memory: False Memories and Allegations of Sexual Abuse. Extreme trauma can affect memory and cause dissociation, however the events you are discussing do not sound traumatic in nature. I would wonder if your husband may be looking for a reason for what you describe as your “sexual issues”. Rather than focusing on blocked memories I would suggest you and your husband see a Psychologist to work on your relationship. Relationship therapy would help your husband explore his issues of trust with you and help you both work towards regaining a healthy sexual relationship.
